2010-2011

List hal-hal penting yang terjadi pada gw selama 2010:

1. Dapet gelar S.Kom!!!

2. Mulai kuliah S2 dan menjalaninya dengan baik

3. International conference untuk yang pertama kalinya dan dapet award best session presentation

4. Menyadari bahwa, semuanya itu temporary

5. Gw gak pernah bisa menyelesaikan even satu buku dalam sebulan! Ini kemunduran!!

6. Mulai belajar mensugesti diri gw dengan kata2 positif yang gw tulis di fb, twitter, dan di dalam hati gw sendiri

7. Mulai mengurangi musuh

8. Mulai belajar biola

9. Berusaha dengan sangat keras melupakan keburukan beberapa orang, tapi fail

10. Sedih, karena teman-teman gw udah banyak yang gak di kampus

11. Ini yang paling penting, gw belajar untuk membuat orang bahagia

Dan ini hal-hal yang ingin gw lakukan di 2011. Let's call it a resolution:

0. Lebih dekat sama Tuhan gw

1. Pergi conference internasional ke luar negri

2. Mengerjakan publikasi, bukan sebanyak-banyaknya, tapi sesuai dengan kesukaan gw

3. Mencintai pekerjaan gw lebih dan lebih lagi

4. Mulai studi mandiri dan bikin proposal thesis

5. Mulai menentukan arah hidup, mau kemanakah gw setelah S2?

6. Lancar berbahasa Italia, tanpa kamus dan google translate

7. Bikin jurnal internasional buat persiapan beasiswa S3

8. Mengurangi, iya, mengurangi sentimen negatif tentang apapun

9. Menekuni belajar biola

10. Belajar bahasa latin. Online.

11. Menghidupkan kembali online store gw yang sudah vakum 3 tahun :D

12. Belajar bikin kerajinan dari clay dan flanel untuk dijual

13. Menemukan passion gw lebih dalam lagi di matematika

14. Menguatkan hati gw untuk menjadi seorang pengajar

15. Dan yang paling susah, menghilangkan kebiasaan begadang!!

Semoga resolusi gw tercapai, minimal 1024 x 680! (?)

will i ever learn to do the things i should?

orang bilang: "pengalaman mengajariku segalanya". ternyata hal itu gak berlaku buat gw. just curious, kenapa ya gw selalu berakhir dalam kondisi seperti ini, yang (worst case) akan berakhir pada sebuah infinte loop, ataupun termination paksa yang menyakitkan?

Busy December

Langganan banget nih tiap desember gini selalu hectic dengan tugas2 pra-UAS, belajar buat UAS, dan segala macam tetek bengek urusan kampus. Padahal ya, bulan Desember selalu menjadi bulan favorit gw sepanjang tahun. Suasananya lebih kerasa dibandingkan dengan bulan-bulan lainnya, ada boneka salju dimana-mana, ada sinterklas, ada pohon dengan hiasan warna-warni. Semua hal itu membuat gw senang :)

Gw sekarang sedang mencoba bertahan untuk mengerjakan tugas akhir salah satu mata kuliah yang bener-bener "unsupervised learning". Gw sebenernya sih suka banget sama kuliah itu, soalnya kuliah itu bener-bener matematis, tipe kuliah yang bakalan gw suka banget lah pokoknya. Dan tantangannya sekarang adalah, apakah gw akan masih tetap menyukai kuliah itu walaupun tugas yang dikasih dosennya bikin satu kelas jadi nyaris gila?

Well, rabu besok udah harus preliminary result, dan gw belum bisa menghasilkan apa-apa. Gw sebenarnya benci buat mengatakan ini, tapi sejujurnya ya, tugas kuliah gw yang satu ini cukup merusak suasana Desember gw. Just blame me for that, i'm the one who is incompetent.

Sweet Surprise

Just got this cute ring from Silver Leica. ADORABLE!!!

Also, i aced my image processing class presentation and computational logic exam today. What a perfect day!! :) Tomorrow i'll go to Bina Nusantara University to attend ACT 2010 International Conference, wish me luck guys!

kerjaan satu selesai, kerjaan lain menanti

Badai kerjaan ICACSIS sudah berlalu dan gw rasa gw akan kangen sama masa2 dimana kehidupan gw hanya berkisar antara lab robotik dan ruangan pak wisnu :") hehehe...

Anyway, gw sekarang sedang memelajari sebuah hal yang bernama LVQ dan self organizing map. *geek alert* jadi, dua benda itu akan digunakan untuk klasifikasi data ke dalam kategori2 gitu. Gw memelajari itu untuk membuat paper yang rencananya (ini juga kalau jadi -_-) tanggal 15 januari 2011 :) yap, bertepatan dengan ultah gw yang ke 19!

Ultah gw berbarengan dengan deadline paper, apakah ini sebuah pertanda? :D

Minggu depan gw juga mau ujian computational logic lagi yang kedua. Ujian pertama gw cukup memuaskan sih, tapi ya gitu, gw ingin lebih baik lagi. Sukur2 nanti pas akhir semester IP gw bisa perfect (amiiiinn) walaupun ya, gw menangsikan salah satu mata kuliah gw ga akan bisa dapet bagus, tau lah kuliah apa :p *kedip*

Baiklah, mari kita menyambut kerjaan dengan riang gembira :D

sedih

gimana ya? sedih deh. tapi memang begitulah kenyataannya. sebenarnya sedih atau nggak sedih itu pilihan, tapi kenapa ya gw lebih memilih sedih? ah gw memang bodoh. tapi gw gak boleh bilang diri gw sendiri bodoh. gak baik. ah masa bodo lah, memang begitu kenyataannya, gw terlalu bodoh untuk sedih karena hal yang bodoh. kenapa gw gak memilih untuk menerima saja kenyataan dan fakta yang ada?

sulit memang.

oh iya ada pesan dari ibu gw, sebelum kita menilai orang, nilailah dulu diri kita sendiri. oke bu, gw cukup tertohok. makasih lho wejangannya, berguna sekali untuk anakmu yang sedang galau ini.

Kuta, 20 November 2010, 22.02 WITA

AKHIRNYA PRESENTASI ICACSIS GW BEREEESS!

Tadi pas presentasi, rasa grogi tiba2 hilang begitu saja dan abis presentasi, yaampuuun rasanya LEGAAAAA banget. Seakan2 semua beban yang menggelendoti pundak gw selama ini lenyap! Gak berbekas!

Alhamdulillah :)

Saatnya liburan di Bali :) Hehehehe

Negative Traits

Yesterday my good friend told me about my current negative behaviour. At first, i said: "who the hell are you? you don't know me, you don't know what circumstances i've been through. you don't have right to judge me like that!".

But then, i realize that i hate people (some of them, without reason) too often, and i suddenly feel that i have been such a bad bad bad person lately. I curse, mock, and said another unpleasant things about them. Well, even they had hurt my feelings before, i'm suppose to hurt their feelings back by hating them. Like my mom said, "revenge is the dish worst served cold, it can rot your heart, and made you a very terrible person."

She's right. I feel so terrible.

Forgive me, mother, for being such a terrible person. I'll get rid of those negative traits as soon as possible. Also, for my friends who already remind me about this, thank you very much :)

Ringrazio Dio per il tuo amore piu sincero e attenzione!

Sempitnya Pikiran Mereka

1.

Gw itu sebenarnya adalah campuran dari pribadi melankolis dan sanguinis, yang kadang suka bergaul, dan kadang membutuhkan waktu untuk diri sendiri. Gw introvert, juga ekstrovert pada saat yang hampir bersamaan. Gw akan ekstrovert ke orang2 yang membuat gw nyaman, tetapi untuk orang2 yang biasa2 aja, gw tidak akan membuka diri gw. Makanya, banyak orang yang belum kenal gw, tetapi udah bisa menilai bahwa gw itu adalah orang sombong.

2.

Gw nanya pada saat presentasi, itu bukan berarti gw mau MENJATUHKAN si presenter, tetapi karena gw CURIOUS akan materi yang dipresentasikan. Masalah si presenter ga bisa jawab, ya itu bukan urusan gw, kenapa dia gak menyiapkan materi dengan lebih baik sebelum presentasi? Kalau ada yang berpikir bahwa gw berniat menjatuhkan harga diri si presenter dengan nanya2 rumus, wah sayang banget, berarti orang itu pikirannya sempit. Banget.

3.

Gw concern banget sama dunia pendidikan. Gw akan mendedikasikan diri gw untuk dunia pendidikan, kalau bisa, seumur hidup gw. Ini adalah alasan mengapa gw akan sedih kalau ada orang yang menghina2 sistem pendidikan di Indonesia. Kenapa sih menghina instead of memikirkan bagaimana solusi untuk memperbaikinya? Gw gak habis pikir.

Berhubungan sama nomor 3, gw sebenarnya bukan orang yang pelit ilmu, tapi gw bukan malaikat. Gw bisa mengajari atau tidak mengajari orang sesuai dengan preference gw. Kalau orang itu udah memiliki pikiran2 yang sempit semacam yang sudah gw sebutkan di nomor 1, 2, dan 3, gw prefer untuk tidak berurusan dengan orang seperti itu, karena gw nggak suka. Dan ketidaksukaan itu nggak butuh alasan (menurut gw).

Silahkan definisikan domain untuk variabel "orang-orang" dan "mereka" sendiri. Bagi yang pernah atau masih menjadi anggota himpunan2 tersebut, tolong upgrade pandangan kalian. Karena orang yang memiliki pikiran sempit, nggak bakalan mungkin bisa maju. Seperti katak dalam tempurung.

Overcoming Pain

World's most difficult task: facing the truth, overcome the after-effect pain, move on.

It's easy, eh? Talk to yourself. You don't know the problem i've been through. So please don't address me as "cheesy", or "crybaby", or "sentimental". Lets just wait until you get the same problem. The infinite loop. The local-maxima trap.

Local maxima trap. Happens when you rely too much on some approaches to make an improvements in searching optimum value. Bold and underline the substring "rely too much".

Everything Is Temporary

Tattoo,

Dormitory,

Data structure,

Life,

Pain,

Sufferings,

Feelings.

Feelings.

I must get through this uncomfortable after-infinite-loop-termination feeling. Immediately. I know i'll be okay.

Maintaining A Good Mood

Read "Alice in Wonderland" 10 pages a day. It keeps the bad mood away :) Trust me.

Anyway, i currently busy doing papers and a bunch of experiments, and lusting over another research ideas. Greedy me, i know, but my curiousity about this research just grew exponentially time to time. I really, really love this research job :) :) :)

"Negative result is still a result" -- Sheldon Cooper

Wish me luck for my first national conference at November 20th, guys :D

TTBHA (cont.)

this list update for today:

34. Afternoon tea

35. Conjunctive normal forms

36. Cheesy Korean songs

37. Recycled-paper books

38. Floral shoes

39. Crescent moon (because it reminds me of Chesire Cat's grin)

40. Non-perfumed facial tissue

41. National Geographic magazine

42. Mother-daughter time

43. Infinite loop terminator

44. Popsicle

45. Real and complex analysis

46. Nice guys

47. Comfortable pencil leads

48. Laundry service

49. All disney princes: Prince Charming, Prince Naveen, Alladin, Peter Pan, Beast, etc.

50. Opera songs

51. Owl City

52. Good mood

53. Chamomile smell

54. Symmetric matrices

55. Colorful patterns

56. God's love

57. Punctuality

:)

Deadlines

Papers. Orange. Naive Bayesian. Edge size histograms. Experiment series. Bishop. Submission requirements. Unreliable guys. Matlab. Vincent van Gogh. RR-interval. Linear polynomial regression. Restless days. Sleepless nights.

All paid.

I've worked so hard, so let me taste the fruitful rewards :)

Basa Basi Basi

Berikut ini adalah beberapa percakapan yang dilakukan untuk kesopanan semata:

-----------------------

A: "Apa kabar? Gimana kuliahnya?"

B: "Baik"

-----------------------

A: "Waaah, kurusan ya sekarang?"

B: "Oh ya? Makasih lho!"

-----------------------

A: "Denger2 sakit ya? Sakit apa?"

B: "Nggak ko, udah sembuh"

A: "Waaah syukurlah"

-----------------------

A: "Punya pacar?"

B: "..."

-----------------------

A: "Dari mana?"

B: "Dari sana" *nunjuk ke suatu arah*

A: "Trus mau kemana?"

B: "Mau kesana" *nunjuk arah yg berlawanan*

-----------------------

A: "Gimana? Ibu sehat?"

B: "Alhamdulillah"

-----------------------

A: "Jam berapa sekarang?"

B: *nyodorin tangan*

-----------------------

Dan masih banyak lagi percakapan awkward yang lain.

Gw sangat-sangat sering melakukan percakapan2 diatas, baik gw menjadi si A maupun si B. Yang ingin gw pertanyakan adalah, seburuk itukah kemampuan berkomunikasi gw (dan orang2 yang juga merasa pernah melakukan beberapa percakapan diatas) ?

Revenge Is The Dish Best Served Cold

I have threatened by someone's intelligence in my class. He's (obviously) geeker than me and he understands a lot of mathematical terms, function behaviour, and many other theories that i can't understand!! He says so many things i DID NOT understand then look at me with a grin on his face. I can't stand it!!!

Wish me luck with that guy -_______-"

A Few Things To Be Happy About (cont.)

I promised you that i'll post things that made me smile like in this post:

Now i'll update the list:
1. Gigantic seamonster on my notebook
2. Camouflage keyboard
3. Candies with more than 5 colors on it
4. Jane Austen's sensible words
5. Meet Poseidon on my way back home
6. Good experiment results
7. Late breakfast
8. Little Miss & Mr. Men
9. Honey chicken
10. Toefl books
11. The victorious feeling after you knocked down somebody who act like "you-know-it-all" in your class
12. Despicable Me Minions' butt
13. Being loved by somebody
14. Stalker
15. White roses
16. Smell of the rain
17. Greek mythology
18. Custard
19. Silent treatment
20. Not-so-tasty Korean dish
21. Bookmarks
22. Perpetual motion
23. All-you-can-eat restaurant
24. Making someone missed you
25. Daily prayer
26. Colorful straws
27. Quiet morning
28. Papa Smurf
29. Seeing someone grinning like a Chesire Cat
30. Having a quiet saturday afternoon
31. Dress-up games
32. Anything free
33. Chocolate cone


I guess that's long enough for today. I'll update this list later.
See you :)

How I Spent My Holiday

1. Eat, eat, and eat!
2. Read (comic books, novels, PAPERS!)
3. Code
4. Watch Big Bang Theory
5. Off to bookstore
6. Help my mother serving guests
7. Iron clothes -______-"
8. Just lazying around

My favourite activity is number 8 so far :)

Happy Eid Fitr!!

Good food. Good times. Good mood :)

Happy Eid Fitr guys!! :)
Taqaballahu mina wa minkum, shiyamana wa shiyamakum. Amin.

Me? Paranoid?

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Personality Disorder:	Very High
Schizoid Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:	Very High
Antisocial Personality Disorder:	Low
Borderline Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Histrionic Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:	High
Avoidant Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Dependent Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	Moderate
-- Take the Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Info --

Hari-hari Gw Setelah Wisuda

Akhir-akhir ini gw tergila-gila sama comic books barat kayak Smurf, Tintin, Agen 212, dan sebagainya. Sebetulnya jokesnya garing sih, tapi entah kenapa komik-komik itu sangat menghibur disaat gw sangat bosan dan mengantuk di lab. Soalnya ya gw sudah mencoba membaca novel (yaitu Eat Pray Love) disaat gw bosan dan hasilnya adalah gw bertambah bosan. Jadi, salah gw ataukah salah novelnya? Pastilah salah data yang gw proses. Ngebetein sih, masa akurasinya 4 persen? Bite me!!!

Kuliah S2 baru mulai tanggal 20 besok, tapi gw udah gatel banget baca slide Machine Learning. Lucu lho, ada polynomial fittingnya! Semoga aja dosennya enak dan teman-teman baru gw juga enak nantinya (dan semoga gw bisa ngerjain tugas koding berkelompoknya). Sejujurnya ya, gw kurang suka tugas berkelompok, tapi kalau gw ingin mengerjakan tugas koding itu sendiri, itu sama saja dengan bunuh diri.

Sekarang setiap weekend gw manfaatkan semaksimal mungkin. Berbaring, nonton Big Bang Theory, pergi baca komik gratis ke Gramedia terdekat, atau mengasah kembali kemampuan piano gw yang super cetek. Omong-omong, gw berencana menggunakan gaji pertama gw untuk beli biola. Atau lanjutin les piano ya? Hmmm...

Omong-omong besok progress report lho :) *smirk* haruskah gw mengaku bahwa akurasi eksperimen gw cuma 4 persen? Haruskah?

Jadi inget perkataannya Sheldon Cooper di Big Bang:

"Negative results are still a results"

Well.. Ciao! :3

Quote of The Day

When you push yourself to your limits, you realize that there are no limits

I'm bored. I need more comic book, perhaps.

Welcome, To The New Chapter of Life!

I AM NOW A BACHELOR!!!
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!
*super excited*

You've Got Snapped

"He's too handsome, he's smart, well-educated, economically eligible, irresistable, and (of course) lovable. We spent our time together, we chatted, he asked me out, he gave me goodnight kisses but... i'm not his girlfriend"

*SNAP!*

"I like her smile, she's so cute with her dimpled cheeks. When she smiles, i feel the world shift, feets up the ground. She's the best thing ever happened in my life. She even gave me signals!! But... she's taken"

*SNAP!*

"She's my ex-girlfriend. We parted because i'm too stupid to let her go away. I still in love with her, and i hope she's still in love with me too. Everynight, i dreamt of her, prayed for her, and imagined if we can have those good old times again. But... she's now someone else's wife"

*SNAP!*

----------------------

Yes guys, they could be too good to be true but sadly, I could say that you are in a very desperated mode. I snapped you because you are lovable. Search for another possible "Ms/Mr.Right"!

(Said that to yourself, writer!)

This Just Made My Day!

My busy day as a researcher has begun!!

*sob*

Hey Seashore!

Honestly, i'm too tired to write what happened during this weekend, but i'll try to write some.

I was going to Anyer Beach with my college mates. The waves was unbelieavably beautiful and the sand was so FLUFFY! Really fluffy so you can stand laying on it and take a nap comfortably. We were enjoying such a great time eating delicious seafoods, playing stupid movie charades, and playing on the beach.

Too bad, i'm not calling Poseidon in advance so i can get free crab egg :p

Quote Of The Day

"Sometimes, you forgive people simply because you still want them in your life"

Late Blabbers

I was curious about:

1. Why are some people keep talking about unnecessary things like a weird lipsync video? COME ON PEOPLE! You are all overreacted.

2. Why can't i finish even one book this week?

3. Why is Hades still not replying my text?

I think i must have some sleep.

Hey You

It's been a while since we have met each other for the last time. Hades, i know i'm forbid to come to your underworld. I know that i can't see you around lately because you are too busy to mind me instead of mind your bloody tasks.

I kinda miss you, Hades.

Not kinda, i really miss you.

Good News Today :)

:) :) :)

There's So Many Things To Happy About

Got inspired by this book:

That's the book i gave to Athena several weeks ago. It contains all of the things like foods, places, times, feelings, that can made the author happy. Actually it works for some kind of self encouragement and blah, and i decided to made one of myself :)

Honestly, i'm not easily pleased except by math things and greek mythology. I'm quite sure that my happy-list will be dominated by math and myth stuff (blame Euler and Rick Riordan for that). I want a moleskin for my happy book, but i think it's too much so i want to search for another cute notebooks.

I promise i'll hit the bookstore soon when my allowance arrives!

Despicable Me!!! :3

I spend my whole weekend reading Red Pyramid (fyi, the book is extremely thick, plus in english too @.@) and watching this:

The story is about a guy named Gru who wants to be the #1 villain by stealing something unusual like the moon (yes, with the help of the shrinking ray). To steal the shrinking ray from another villain named Vector (like those on my linear algebra books), he used 3 kids named Margo, Edith, and Agnes. This three little girl is orphans who long for a better living by being adopted by some good parents, but unfortunately, Gru adopted them and used them to steal Vector's shrinking ray by disguising as cookie seller.

Meet Gru and his SUPER CUTE yellow friends! :3

Vector with his geeky look. No wonder his name is VECTOR :D

L to R: Margo, Agnes, and Edith. The three orphans adopted by Gru

You guys MUST SEE this movie!!!! Totally!!!

Here's the trailer:

Today's Poupee: Ice Cream Day

Today, Katharine releases new Piyo Catcher, the ice cream catcher! I have got 8 of 10 in that catcher:

Cute isn't it? :3

Today's Poupee: Cafe Gateway

Honestly, i didn't like the jacket, but i have a bag that suits well with that bloody jacket. That jacket costs 140 ribbons by the way. Hmmm, such a waste...

Happy thursday all! :)

Today's Poupee: Street Violinist

Hey! Do you know Poupee Girl?

Poupee Girl is a social networking game from Japan. You can choose your very own doll, with customizable eyes, face, hair, and skin color. The main interest of this game is to dressing up everyday with different styles and seeing other people's style.

I'm inspired by this girl's blog about her poupee and her customized designer made poupee dress. I'm so envious :( Well, for now on, i'll try to dressing up my poupee everyday and post it's snapshot to this blog :))

This is my Poupee dressup today:

I'm a street violinist!! :)

Lets dress up everyday! :3

Reptile Room

My last holiday was quite fun! I visited Sanggaluri Park Purbalingga with my siblings where the odd gigantic and exotic reptiles and insects live. But I only stay in Sokaraja for 2 nights, too bad, if only I could have my holiday longer... :(

So I spent the rest of my freedom week reading my favourite author, Rick Riordan's The Red Pyramid. I love the plot, i love the Gods, but i think Percy Jackson is just cooler.

How'd you think? :)

The lesson about expecting too much

I often expecting too much on something (which is actually unimportant) and ended up dissapointed. After I analyzed that, I realize that I want that "something" too much and suddenly put all my hopes on it. That's why it all become shattered after I figure out later.

Yeah, life's full of misery. Just don't expect too much with life. It'll SURELY dissapoint you, sooner or later.

Nemesis, where are you? I need your justice like now! :'(

Total eclipse of the heart

I simply love this song:




Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart

Karma

Life is simple:

Just don't hurt anybody and everything will go smoothly.

I did hurt somebody. So, what will happen to me? Karma is really, really exist. And i just have to wait the redemption of my doings. Nemesis will pay that for me sooner or later.

A few things that make me smile

Gigantic seamonster on my notebook,

Camouflage keyboard,

Candies with more than 5 colors on it,

Jane Austen's sensible words,

Accidentally meet my relative on my way back home. Hey uncle Poseidon!

you won't give your heart but i'll give you mine

Sounds very cliche but... i'll do it. Yeah.

QUICK UPDATE:

I already passed my trial last wednesday and finally got S.KOM DEGREE!!! HELL YEAAHHHH!!! (God, i'm so overexcited). I don't care what will my thesis grade be. I just happy to be a bachelor :) :) :)

See ya! :3

master scholarship

That's the reason why i cried for the whole day yesterday. I don't get accepted in master scholarship at my campus. I am EXTREMELY dissapointed and i just can't stop blaming my incompetent self. I hate to lose. I hate being a loser.

But i must face that reality.

I can find another way for being an exquisite future lecturer. I don't want to give up. I must finish what i've started. I simply can.

Thanks for your support guys :)

blabbering

weekend. sleepless nights. annoying orange. finished thesis reports. hope. re-reading Jane Austen. presentation slide. presentation slide. presentation slide. typo. typo. typo. unstructured grammar. tables. paintings. neck stiff. pet society. dwarf #3. divine tiara. pink snail. delicous lasagna. home-made grissini. annoying sister.

how come did you get so sweet?

i missed the old you, really...

and pray Tieta, how come did you get that infinite loop?

ways to live forever

I'm doing some scrap-booking today. I'm putting together old photos in one scrapbook album which i brought a few days ago together with my How To Train Your Dragon book. Even so, there's still plenty of space on that book which still left blank (i promise i will fill them AFTER my trial). My room was like a super deformed titanic in fluffy version. Take a look:

Papers everywhere

My sister Kania when she was 5, and my littlest brother Irham when he was 2. Super cute :3

My brother Hasnan when he was 6 and my sister Kania when she was 3

This is me, the super gigantic baby with a cute slanted eyes :)

The cover. I named it after my favourite book Ways To Live Forever

Applause!!! :3 :3

main topic of this week: the infinite loop

That's the topic which me and my dear Athena had been talked about since last week. This is not about some kind of programming technique, this is a pure sensitive talk about a weird feeling that i (and honestly, several people) have been experienced.

Errato m (italian). f errata, m prural errati, f prural errate. Wrong. Incorrect. Mistaken.

Infinite loop means half-unrequited love, undesirable affection, and false hope that occurs simultaneously between someone and his/her lover. You can't get your lover out of your head although you're already broke up with him/her or him/her already exhibit unpleasant behaviour in front of you. Infinite loops are the aftermath of loving someone too much. Infinite loops ARE dangerous.

I'm having one. And that's painful :(

count down

Today's June 3rd. Just a few days before my thesis trial. I'm now working on my chapter five -___-"

Also, today's my scholarship interview. I wear the most uncomfortable clothes in my closet: formal shirt and formal pants! I need my jeans like.... now? :(

Wish me luck for my interview guys!

alay nenggak parfum

(Sebenernya gw agak nggak rela postingan pertama gw di bulan ini adalah tentang alay, tapi biarlah...)

Cerita bermula dari gw menumpahkan air minum gw ke bukunya si Nene. Gw yang takut akan keanarkisan temen gw itu yang notabenenya sayaaaangggg banget sama buku2nya memutuskan untuk menggantinya dan mencarinya sepulang kampus di TM Bookstore.

Pas ke TM Bookstore gw udah nyari jengking2, tuh buku GA ADA. Bagus... Tapi gw nggak pulang dengan tangan kosong sih, gw beli buku How To Train Your Dragon sama Negeri 5 Menara buat om gw.

Terus gw pulang naik bis neraka Deborah seperti biasanya barengan sama seorang kiplay mencurigakan. Kupingnya ditindik kayak manusia purba, trus doi pake jaket hoodie yang warnanya gak jelas antara biru sama abu2 (biru campur daki, maybe?), dan doi juga pake atribut khas alay yaitu gelang serut yang di malioboro harganya cuma secengan. Gw yang udah waspada purbawisesa banget sama tuh mas2 akhirnya naik Deborah dari pintu belakang, soalnya doi naik dari pintu depan.

APESNYA, kursi yang tersisa di Deborah cuma dua. Walhasil gw duduklah bareng mas2 yang kayaknya blasteran Homo Mojokertensis sama suporter jakmania. Terus setelah beberapa saat gw duduk di sebelah si mas2 itu, gw menyadari ada hal yang janggal dari doi.

Biasanya kalo anak2 yang emo2 gitu bau kan ya? (menurut survey gw pada teman2 dan tetangga2 gw yang "emo") nah ini doi wangi banget! Wangi parfum emak-emak! Seriusan deh, kayaknya doi mau ngecengin ceweknya deh... Bayangin aja gw di Deborah duduk selama satu jam di sebelah makhluk blasteran Homo Mojokertensis, suporter jakmania, PLUS ibu2 pengajian itu.

Jackpotnya lagi, pas beberapa saat sebelum turun di terminal lebak bulus, doi ngeluarin tuh parfum yang bikin gw megap2 selama satu jam dan parfum itu DISEMPROTIN LAGI ke badannya doi yang notabenenya udah kelebihan minyak wangi.

"Buset mas, tenggak aja tuh parfum sekalian!", kata sanubari gw menjerit, nggak kuat menahan penderitaan ini. Akhirnya ada ibu2 yang berdiri di deket dia nyindir, "Mas, udah wangi kok mas... Makanya mandi, jangan ngandelin parfum aje..."

Gw langsung ketawa nyembur dan berhasil mempermalukan diri gw di depan sekitar 40 penumpang Deborah. Ya iyalah, tuh ibu2 jujur banget, gw aja yang sebelahnya ga brani, takut tiba2 doi ngeluari golok, tamat riwayat gw! Mana gw belom sidang skripsi lagi!

Apes ya nasib gw hari ini? Huhuhuw...

Pesan moral bagi kalian yang merasa seperti orang diatas:

Toleransi lah kalau mau make parfum berlebihan, kasihan orang yang nyium, bisa2 kayak gw sekarang, muntah2 kayak orang bunting! :D

the only reason why i love teaching

Only two words from my beloved student:

THANK YOU :)

This is the last Numerical Analysis class attendance paper

today

Speechless.

Yes, like i said, only God knows the future.

Of course we did choose our path, but who knows where will it ends?

Right now, we can just try everything. And pray...

quick updates

Quick updates from my life:

1. Re-read an irritating blog post about me and suddenly unfollow the writer from twitter and facebook

2. Unfollow some annoying people from twitter

3. Having an one-sided slag again with one of my friend. It happens, but fortunately she didn't have a clue about it.

4. Currently playing pet society again and lusting over new items.

5. Moaning about my soon-to-be trial date. Damn, i just need to work harder.

6. Obsessed more and more with Yui Hirasawa from K-ON! and found some similarity between us.

7. Applying a master scholarship on my campus and sacrificing my dream to have a master degree abroad.

Wish me luck for the application guys! :)

last night battle

Yesterday was a shitty day. I came home without my mum, trapped on the most miserable traffic jam for almost 2 hour, and got sick. Even so, i have to finish my chapter four of thesis report, due next monday. So this is what i had doing last night, 7 until 1 in the morning:

Heavens, i even marked "doomsday!" after it :p

This is my battlefield...

and my mission...

Minyak Telon to calm down my raging stomach

Yes, Roald Dahl was my cheerleader last night

Julie Andrews too :)

OH GODDDD!!!! *cries*

So see you again until next week! Wish me luck guys!

yes olivia, i will...

I shuffled my iPod again this afternoon and Olivia gave me this hidden message from her song:

This road that I'm taking twists and turns

My life my chance turning dreams into reality

Down this path faced with many things

Sometimes I feel like giving up and turn away

Can't seem to go on

And I've been thru' this before

Now where am I? Where do I stand?

A little lost here

But I'll remember

All those times you've bought me through

I'd be a fool to give up cos' the goal is near

I'll move on I'll go on

Lord I will take your hand

And you will guide me along

Survive thru' this storm

So I say come what may

I'll hold on to my hope

Yes I will walk down this road

And my passion drive will lead me on

Here I am Once again caught in the rain

Looking back I've come so far and I want to carry on

Take a step at a time it's alright

Even through this rain

I want to smile again

Don't hold back now

And I've been thru' this before

Now where am I? Where do I stand?

A little lost here

But I'll remember

All those times you've bought me thru'

I can feel the sun shining down on me

Here I am Here I am

Lord I will take your hand

And you will guide me along

Survive thru' this storm

So I say come what may

I'll hold on to my hope

Yes I will walk down this road

And my passion drive will lead me on

------------------

Of course Olivia, i will, i certainly will.

Sooner or later :(

this morning

i have shuffle my iPod and listening to its random songs.

i feel good all of a sudden...

never say never:

I once said "never" to something and that something was happened to me. Guys, never say never to a something. Only God knows the future, yeah rite.

what is the "good" part of "goodbye"?

i just had a strange dream last night

I dreamed of someone ripping my hand with a scissors in front of a cupboard, and there's a lot lot blood on my blue cardigan. It's not painful, but the blood spilled everywhere like those on horror movies. I scream for my mother, and suddenly she came and washed my stained clothes.

What does this mean?

And also, sorry for being so sarcastic in my last post. I just not in a good mood.

ingin mengeluh

Gw lagi pengen mengeluhkan beberapa hal:

1. You-know-who
Gw sih udah hampir "get over" sama dia, tapi ada salah satu orang temen gw yang suka lapor kalo si you-know-who ini lagi begini, lagi begitu, lagi sama si ini, lagi sama si itu. Gw tahu niatnya temen gw ini baik sebetulnya, tapi entah kenapa gw kok jadi ngerasa seakan-akan si temen gw ini berpikir kalau gw nggak bisa hidup tanpa si you-know-who. Nggak kok, gw nggak akan nangis, atau sedih, ataupun berduka cita dengan kabar-kabar mengenai si you-know-who, tapi kabar-kabar itu sedikit banyak cukup ngerusak mood gw.

2. Tentang progres TA
Progres gw dibandingin sama temen-temen gw sih gw rasa udah cukup memuaskan ya. Dikit lagi eksperimen gw kelar dan gw bisa ngebut nulis bab 3 dan bab-bab lainnya. Tapi gw keganggu sama temen-temen gw yang suka ngeluh tentang TA nya yang terlalu susah, atau tentang yang TA nya udah sampe bab 5. Bukannya gw sirik sih, tapi ya kalau gw ditanya TA gw sampe mana, gw akan bilang "eksperimen gw aja belum kelar kok", dan akan jaga perasaan temen gw yang tanya. Emang sih gw nggak bisa berharap hal macam gitu dari temen-temen gw,tapi tetep aja, yang namanya hal-hal berbau TA itu tabu diomongin sebelum sidang.

3. Tentang beberapa orang yang mengganggu hidup gw
Simpel aja, gw pengen mereka yang lenyap dari pandangan gw, atau gw yang jadi invisible. Gw prefer yang kedua, tapi kalau yang pertama memungkinkan sih, gw bakalan seneng banget.

Wah, sinis ya postingan gw?
Biarin, gw manusia kok, gw juga berhak ngeluh.

i need such equation

yesterday's rainbow

Spotted when i was picking up my mum from her office:

Sweet!

my tarot reading this morning

Did you guys believe in superstitions?

Well, i believe God, superstitions are for consideration only. But things keep occur after something happened to me, something's superstituous. Like when my left eye keep twitching and suddenly i burst into tears.

I had my first tarot reading in this month this morning. I used relationship spread with Reinassance tarot.

The Relationship Spread

The spread consist of 7 cards: the card on the top left represents how i see myself, the card on the center left represents how i feel about my partner, the card on the bottom left represent how my partner see me, the card on the top right represents represents how i see my partner, the card on the center right represents what stands between me and my partner, the card on the bottom right represents what my partner feels about me, and finally, the center card represents the challenge of our relationship.

And this is my center card:

Seriously, what does this mean?

this is what happened...

...when i was studying this:


Yeah, i'm kinda bored, so i did take some picture :) FYI, i studied for almost 6 hours up to now. It's kinda torturing but i'm loving it!

The exam is an open-note exam, so i spend most of the time finishiong my note. Actually, i hate an open-note exam because i hate to make a note. I prefer open all, or nothing at all (mutually exclusive law, yeah rite). Also, my charmander was confused about the equations i had solved. Proof:

He said: "what the hell is THIS??" hahahahahaha XD

Also, i forget to tell you that i'm a very dilligent student (really, believe it or not) because i'm always taking notes from class and paying attention to everything that my lecturer said.

BEEP! PROCRASTINATING ALERT!

Yeah, i know, i should stop, taking a bath, and back straight to my room studying (again! sigh)

P.S:
My sister is having her 10th birthday today! :) So, i'm glad that our dining table is full with delicious pastries, cakes, and foods! But i'm not glad with the noise that comes as a result of her overexcited feeling, seriously -_-

my zahir

Currently reading The Zahir by Paulo Coelho.

"The Zahir" cames from Arabian word which means "unable to go unnoticed". In this novel, Coelho told his faithful reader to both dream and destroy that dream. It's a story about to love, to letting go, and to search the purpose of life exactly. Well honestly, it's kinda ironic reading this kind of novel consedering my state (you know, being just single) but i think i kinda into this book and planned to finish it before Sunday.

Of course, i have tons of work to do: lecturer ass' things, experiment set 4, and DE 2nd exam by next tuesday (also the second season of How I Met Your Mother. Yes, i knew i'm kinda late.)

I guess i should move on and try to screw so many unnecessary things (not just about him, about everything), am I right?

i'm on my way...

i clicked "Yes".

get lost!

5 days ago, i told someone to back off from me.

Last night, i called this person. Apologized. And i cried. I hurt his feeling and i don't know what am i supposed to do when i met him at campus. Gosh, checkmate.

Even so, he accepted my apologize gently and asked me:

"Are we still friends?"

When he asked that, my tears bursted from my eyes and i told him, "Yes, but my mind set had been changed. I'm so sorry..". He said it's okay, but i'm totally not okay. I felt guilty.

What am i supposed to do? I ruined my relationship with somebody!!

don't rain on my parade

I watched glee again this week and i'm very fond of this song:



happy thesis-ing everyone! :)