never say never:

I once said "never" to something and that something was happened to me. Guys, never say never to a something. Only God knows the future, yeah rite.

what is the "good" part of "goodbye"?

i just had a strange dream last night

I dreamed of someone ripping my hand with a scissors in front of a cupboard, and there's a lot lot blood on my blue cardigan. It's not painful, but the blood spilled everywhere like those on horror movies. I scream for my mother, and suddenly she came and washed my stained clothes.

What does this mean?

And also, sorry for being so sarcastic in my last post. I just not in a good mood.

ingin mengeluh

Gw lagi pengen mengeluhkan beberapa hal:

1. You-know-who
Gw sih udah hampir "get over" sama dia, tapi ada salah satu orang temen gw yang suka lapor kalo si you-know-who ini lagi begini, lagi begitu, lagi sama si ini, lagi sama si itu. Gw tahu niatnya temen gw ini baik sebetulnya, tapi entah kenapa gw kok jadi ngerasa seakan-akan si temen gw ini berpikir kalau gw nggak bisa hidup tanpa si you-know-who. Nggak kok, gw nggak akan nangis, atau sedih, ataupun berduka cita dengan kabar-kabar mengenai si you-know-who, tapi kabar-kabar itu sedikit banyak cukup ngerusak mood gw.

2. Tentang progres TA
Progres gw dibandingin sama temen-temen gw sih gw rasa udah cukup memuaskan ya. Dikit lagi eksperimen gw kelar dan gw bisa ngebut nulis bab 3 dan bab-bab lainnya. Tapi gw keganggu sama temen-temen gw yang suka ngeluh tentang TA nya yang terlalu susah, atau tentang yang TA nya udah sampe bab 5. Bukannya gw sirik sih, tapi ya kalau gw ditanya TA gw sampe mana, gw akan bilang "eksperimen gw aja belum kelar kok", dan akan jaga perasaan temen gw yang tanya. Emang sih gw nggak bisa berharap hal macam gitu dari temen-temen gw,tapi tetep aja, yang namanya hal-hal berbau TA itu tabu diomongin sebelum sidang.

3. Tentang beberapa orang yang mengganggu hidup gw
Simpel aja, gw pengen mereka yang lenyap dari pandangan gw, atau gw yang jadi invisible. Gw prefer yang kedua, tapi kalau yang pertama memungkinkan sih, gw bakalan seneng banget.

Wah, sinis ya postingan gw?
Biarin, gw manusia kok, gw juga berhak ngeluh.

i need such equation

yesterday's rainbow

Spotted when i was picking up my mum from her office:

Sweet!

my tarot reading this morning

Did you guys believe in superstitions?

Well, i believe God, superstitions are for consideration only. But things keep occur after something happened to me, something's superstituous. Like when my left eye keep twitching and suddenly i burst into tears.

I had my first tarot reading in this month this morning. I used relationship spread with Reinassance tarot.

The Relationship Spread

The spread consist of 7 cards: the card on the top left represents how i see myself, the card on the center left represents how i feel about my partner, the card on the bottom left represent how my partner see me, the card on the top right represents represents how i see my partner, the card on the center right represents what stands between me and my partner, the card on the bottom right represents what my partner feels about me, and finally, the center card represents the challenge of our relationship.

And this is my center card:

Seriously, what does this mean?

this is what happened...

...when i was studying this:


Yeah, i'm kinda bored, so i did take some picture :) FYI, i studied for almost 6 hours up to now. It's kinda torturing but i'm loving it!

The exam is an open-note exam, so i spend most of the time finishiong my note. Actually, i hate an open-note exam because i hate to make a note. I prefer open all, or nothing at all (mutually exclusive law, yeah rite). Also, my charmander was confused about the equations i had solved. Proof:

He said: "what the hell is THIS??" hahahahahaha XD

Also, i forget to tell you that i'm a very dilligent student (really, believe it or not) because i'm always taking notes from class and paying attention to everything that my lecturer said.

BEEP! PROCRASTINATING ALERT!

Yeah, i know, i should stop, taking a bath, and back straight to my room studying (again! sigh)

P.S:
My sister is having her 10th birthday today! :) So, i'm glad that our dining table is full with delicious pastries, cakes, and foods! But i'm not glad with the noise that comes as a result of her overexcited feeling, seriously -_-

my zahir

Currently reading The Zahir by Paulo Coelho.

"The Zahir" cames from Arabian word which means "unable to go unnoticed". In this novel, Coelho told his faithful reader to both dream and destroy that dream. It's a story about to love, to letting go, and to search the purpose of life exactly. Well honestly, it's kinda ironic reading this kind of novel consedering my state (you know, being just single) but i think i kinda into this book and planned to finish it before Sunday.

Of course, i have tons of work to do: lecturer ass' things, experiment set 4, and DE 2nd exam by next tuesday (also the second season of How I Met Your Mother. Yes, i knew i'm kinda late.)

I guess i should move on and try to screw so many unnecessary things (not just about him, about everything), am I right?

i'm on my way...

i clicked "Yes".

get lost!

5 days ago, i told someone to back off from me.

Last night, i called this person. Apologized. And i cried. I hurt his feeling and i don't know what am i supposed to do when i met him at campus. Gosh, checkmate.

Even so, he accepted my apologize gently and asked me:

"Are we still friends?"

When he asked that, my tears bursted from my eyes and i told him, "Yes, but my mind set had been changed. I'm so sorry..". He said it's okay, but i'm totally not okay. I felt guilty.

What am i supposed to do? I ruined my relationship with somebody!!