going 19

God,

Thank You for Your blessed 18 years you gave me, thanks for the happiness, sadness, knowledge, temptation, joyfulness, and other things that You let me have.

Please take a good care of me on my 19th year in this cruel world. Amen.

I love you, God :)

Dear God,

In Your majesty, You create differences

In my arrogance, I question Your wisdom

In Your mystery, You create temptation

In my inferiority, You make me more than I am

So here I am...

thy fearful symmetry

[Warning: this post may contain geeky substances]

Lagi bosen banget sama kerjaan riset. Bos gw pergi 3 minggu ke Filipina dan gw disuruh mengobrak abrik apa sebenarnya yang menjadikan sebuah benda bernama Gabor Filter itu oke untuk mendeteksi edge suatu citra. Setelah gw pelototin, ternyata ada satu fungsi misterius yang memodulasi gelombang sinus dan kosinusnya si Gabor ini, namanya Gaussian Envelope. Kemarin gw udah belajar, udah cukup ngerti, cuma gw takut sesat. Mau belajar lagi bosen, udah seminggu gw main-main sama itu filter. Akhirnya gw switch ke benda lain.

Jadi sebenernya gw mempelajari ini karena pengen tau semata, soalnya benda ini kabarnya powerful banget dan bisa menganalisis sinyal EKG pake semacam metode machine learning gitu. Benda itu adalah aljabar asbak!

Aljabar abstrak, in a funny way.

Dan pas gw lihat-lihat slide yang dipost di videolectures oleh seseorang, ada puisi begini:

Tiger, tiger, burning bright

In the forests of the night,

What immortal hand or eye

Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

--Willam Blake

Dan waktu terakhir gw jalan-jalan ke kinokuniya, gw menemukan buku ini:

Memang ada apa sih dengan symmetry? Sebegitu ditakutinnya. Gw sendiri sepertinya yang harus mencari tahu. Hmmm...

today's good news

1. My first semester GPA is here!

Thank God for His three As and one A- which he gaves me today :) This grade leads me to GPA of 3.93 of 4 (yes, it's a palindrome GPA :p). I'm so greatful, happy, and speechless. Thank God, you are the Most Kind :')

2. I found my name on IEEE digital library

Do you guys remember that I attended an international conference named ACT 2010 at Bina Nusantara University several months ago? Yes, this is the conference proceedings (and it has my name on it, can you believe it?).

Here's the link (so you can also view my paperwork):

http://ieeexplore.ieee.org/search/searchresult.jsp?newsearch=true&queryText=tieta+antaresti&x=0&y=0

See? Like Katy Perry said in Fireworks:

You don't have to feel like a waste of space

You're original, cannot be replaced

If you only knew what the future holds

After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed

So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road

Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow

And when it's time, you'll know

Once again, alhamdulillah, praise for you my Lord! :)

TTBHA (cont.)

here's my update for this list

58. Comfortable sneakers

59. Technology

60. Judge Claude Frollo (you know, from Hunchback of Notre Dame)

61. Vacuum flasks

62. Beautiful violin

63. Greek mythology audiobook

64. Poker faces

65. Instant cup noodles

66. Victory

67. "Out of memory" free

68. Cute scrapbooks

69. Lord of The Dead

70. Continuous pattern

71. Low fat foods

72. Multicultural community

73. Clay crafts

74. Bookstore

75. Old coffee shop

76. Vanilla oreo

77. Miracles

78. Seafoam

79. Mosque ceilings

80. Cupid's arrow

81. Straight As

82. Increasing GPA

83. Losing weight

84. Infinity

85. Acoustic songs

86. Spinoff novels

:)

To Where You Are

Who can say for certain

Maybe you're still here

I feel you all around me

Your memory, so clear

Deep in the stillness

I can hear you speak

You're still an inspiration

Can it be ?

That you are mine

Forever love

And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are

Beyond the distant star

I wish upon tonight

To see you smile

If only for awhile to know you're there

A breath away not far

To where you are

Are you gently sleeping

Here inside my dream

And isn't faith believing

All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you

Just one beat away

I cherish all you gave me everyday

'Cause you are my

Forever love

Watching me from up above

And I believe

That angels breathe

And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up

To where you are

Beyond the distant star

I wish upon tonight

To see you smile

If only for awhile

To know you're there

A breath away not far

To where you are

I know you're there

A breath away not far

To where you are

Lagi tergila-gila sama lagunya Josh Groban yang ini. Lagunya somehow mengingatkan gw pada orang-orang terkasih gw yang sudah ada di atas sana, dan juga orang-orang terkasih gw yang jauh banget dari gw sekarang.

Semoga mereka baik-baik saja ya :)

By the way, hari ini gw akan mengunjungi eyang gw di Purwokerto. Sendirian. Excited!

about priority

Laporan malam tahun baru:

Sepertinya gw adalah orang yang bener-bener ga bisa diajakin pesta. Malam tahun baru kemarin, gw sama tante dan adik gw nonton cabaret show di citos. Ternyata biasa aja, penari cabaretnya jogetnya kayak nenek-nenek. Udah gitu gw nunggu detik-detik tahun baru sekitar kurang lebih 4 jam di kafe. Pas detik-detik tahun baru, countdown, gw berada di tengah-tengah lautan manusia, tiba-tiba pandangan gw blur dan gw kringet dingin. Untung ga pingsan. Yah, pokoknya lain kali, gw mau ngerayain tahun baru di rumah aja sama sebuah buku dan secangkir teh.

Ngomong-ngomong gw berasumsi, bahwa semua orang itu punya hal yang menjadi prioritasnya masing-masing, iya kan? Misalnya, prioritas seorang salesman adalah menjual sebanyak-banyaknya barang kan, bukan untuk memacari salah seorang customernya?

Ok, i'm babbling.

Jadi intinya, prioritas itulah yang membuat kita menjalani kehidupan kita dengan gak mencong-mencong, ya kayak semacam kacamata kuda gitu lah. Banyak sih orang yang gak punya prioritas, cuma gw yakin orang-orang itu punya prioritas, cuma dia gak yakin aja sama hal yang menjadi prioritas dia, atau dia menjadikan sebuah hal (yang harusnya gak dia jadiin prioritas) menjadi prioritas dia. Kejadian-kejadian seperti itulah yang membuat hidup seseorang (terlihat) miserable. Karena apa? Ya, sekali lagi, karena salah prioritas.

So guys, what is your priority for now? Love? Study? Or maybe, Jihad? :p